Games People Play

I’ve always loved playing both indoor and outdoor games and don’t recall ever being a bad sport about losing. When I was young growing up in The Bronx, we played punchball, handball, boxball, girlie games with a Spaldeen ball such as “7-Up,” “A my name is Alice and my husband’s name is Andrew,” 😂 stickball, etc. My goal was to always play my best game and if I should win, yay me.

I continued my love for games throughout my adulthood, playing Scrabble© and backgammon every week with my neighbor, Debbie, for 14 years, and occasionally proving to my two boys that their mom was way cool by playing boxball, ping pong, ski ball and air hockey with them. When they were babies, I was thrilled to play Candyland© and Chutes and Ladders©, and whatever kiddie games we had.

I loved going to Atlantic City maybe twice a year and play slots and the money wheel. And on occasion, I would try my hand (pun intended) at blackjack. Until I took an adult ed class that taught you how to gamble. Yes, you read that correctly. I learned how to gamble at a high school through adult education. And that’s when games started not being as much fun. I enjoyed learning Craps, Roulette, and Baccarat. But when I learned Blackjack, it changed everything for me. You see, I learned that every decision you make in Blackjack affects everyone else at the table, hence the stern glares you might receive at times while playing that you don't quite understand. At least that’s how it was explained to me. So after taking the class, I tried playing at the casinos and it wasn’t long before I was only playing slots. I couldn’t take the pressure of making the right decision not only for myself, but for everyone else. It was stressful enough losing my own money, but being the reason someone else might lose their money was more than I could handle.

The good news is that I just Googled this theory and it’s actually a misconception. Basically, you can only mess things up for yourself. But the damage is done because I became hyperaware of others and I was no longer playing my own game for my own gain.

A couple of years ago, I was playing Sorry© with my brother and nephews. This is a fun, innocently competitive game utilizing the drawing of cards to move you across the board until all four of your colors land Home. A lot of this game is based on luck, but there is some decision making involved when it comes to bumping people back to Start. I was taken aback by the level of seriousness and competitiveness this game created and what started as fun didn’t quite end that way.

Now that I’ve discovered Pickle Ball, I found something else to be concerned about. The experienced players will not be challenged enough playing with a newbie, so now I found a way to worry about being a newbie and not only disappointing myself, but also my partner and our opponents.

And what I just said is key. Disappointment. Instead of being like everyone else and just playing to learn and improve, I struggle with possible embarrassment and disappointment. And why should I care? Well one reason would be seeing and hearing the expressions and groans when I show up to play. That would not be pleasant. Another reason is because I always want to be instantly and forever perfect at everything I do so I don’t hear my own groans of displeasure and feel disappointment. It’s difficult being a perfectionist or more aptly, trying to be a perfectionist. It’s debilitating and unrealistic. It hinders your desire to try new things and damages your self-esteem and confidence. The idea is to have fun, not hurt yourself physically or emotionally.

So what I realized through all of this is that I enjoy games of all types when I’m playing for myself, not as part of a team. That being said, it’s very difficult to play Pickleball without having teams because you end up running around the court like a lunatic and I’m just too old for that, lol.

As a side note, while I was writing this blog, I was watching the men’s gymnastics final and there was one young man on the U.S. Olympic team, Stephen Nedoroscik, whose only contribution, I guess due to qualifiers, came on the very last routine and he was the last person to perform it. He had to wait hours before his opportunity and he was smiling and cheering on his teammates through the whole thing. When it was finally his chance, I could barely breathe. I was so scared for him after sitting around all this time, but he did great and when it was over I burst into tears. Like what???? Where did that come from? I felt as if this kid was my son! Once again, the empath appears. I couldn’t stop crying as they waited for his score, and spoiler alert!!!!, he helped land the U.S. team the bronze medal. Talk about team pressure and stress.

My goodness, am I my own worst enemy or what? I refuse to cry on the Pickleball court, haha!