Guilt-Free Healing
I’ve been home sick since Sunday with some kind of non-Covid crud, and this is one of the rare times when I don’t enjoy being single. It sucks not having anyone watching out for you, making you meals, sticking around while you shower because you feel weak, talking you off the ledge when you panic over something you Googled which convinces you you’re probably going to die. You have to find your own thermometer, get up and get your own Tylenol, and after you forced yourself to make something to eat, you have to wash your own dishes. And there’s nobody to rub your back and play with your hair.
That being said, I have some tremendous friends who work very hard reminding me I’m not alone, offering to shop for me, bringing me food, and checking in with me making sure I didn’t die after all.
But this blog really isn’t about Poor Me. It’s actually about realizing that even though being sick sucks so bad, there are a few redeeming points, the biggest being that you are absolutely allowed to lie around and do nothing. You don’t have to be productive, you don’t have to pay attention to all the irritating things you’re supposed to be checking off your waiting to be done list, and most of all, you don’t have to feel guilty about being the schlump you are during your illness.
I read (there should be a past tense spelling for this word – readed?) when I was able to concentrate and watched television during the times when I didn’t have the energy to focus on words.
I have watched some amazing movies, most of them indies, and some television series, most of them British. I’ve cried watching The Voice (I can’t believe how many talented singers exist in our world), and I’ve laughed watching the Survivor contestants compete and struggle from the comfort of my couch.
Fun fact – I had a friend tell me I sounded like Stevie Nicks when I sang (I don’t). I was 14, but I held on to that memory all these years. I also had a friend tell me not that long ago that I resembled Susanna Hoffs from The Bangles. I wish, but in that one picture, maybe I did.
Back to being sick, the best thing of all is that I did not feel an ounce of guilt reading and watching and watching and reading. Although I don’t normally deprive myself of things that make me happy, it felt damn good not worrying about working out, furthering my writing career, or doing any of the other projects on my list. I had zero guilt.
Perhaps we all need to take a step back maybe once a month and just give ourselves a day like this. A day where we completely push away all guilt and simply enjoy whatever makes us feel happy and relaxed.
Upon rereading this blog aloud, I think I might sound a bit delirious, but hey, I’m sick.