"Home for the Holidays"

Yay, it’s holiday time! We made it through Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday and not just because it’s close to my birthday) and now we have the stress of planning for Christmas/Hanukkah/Etc. I know I spoke about this in a previous blog, yet there’s so much more to say.

But before I get to Christmas/Hanukkah/Etc., I would like to say that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because there are no gifts involved, other than for me if someone wishes to celebrate my birthday, lol. It’s a celebration of family, friends, love, gratitude, and great food. Simply peaceful and wonderful (a little less if you’re the host), but basically calm with everyone looking forward to stuffing their faces with their beloved, traditional, and sometimes unconventional feasts. Of course for many, being with family does not equate to peace and calm, but if possible, Thanksgiving is a time to check emotions and do your best to enjoy each other.

Christmas/Hanukkah/Etc., on the other hand, is just a whirlwind of stress and mainly because of gift giving. It’s a financial strain, and coming up with creative ideas for people or getting them to tell you what they want or need, which will now not be a surprise, is daunting and exhausting. And if you’re hosting, you need to plan and prepare your menu on top of everything else and, of course, make sure your house is clean and beautifully decorated.

I find that receiving gifts is also quite stressful since the person who bought you the gift wants you to be thrilled and sometimes you’re just not. And, unfortunately, I cannot hide my feelings. My former husband once put together a montage of pictures of me throughout the years which he entitled “The Many Faces of Phyl.” I was mortified when I saw he was right. I have expressions for everything; I can hide nothing. Thankfully, at this stage of my life, I am grateful for just about everything I receive as long as I can find a place for it either on my body or in a closet for future use.

I can name several people I know who absolutely adore Christmas/Hanukkah/Etc. and I actually do myself once it falls into place. I begin asking who wants what in October. Yes, October, and now, as of this minute, we have approximately three weeks until Christmas/Hanukkah, Etc. and I have received only gift ideas from three people. I don’t understand one of the requests so unless I can turn it into a gift card scenario, I won’t be fulfilling that wish.

I’m not a complete “bah humbug.” I do love when my place is decorated and all glittery and magical although I’m not one of those people who put my decorations up directly after Thanksgiving or take them down on New Year’s Day (in my opinion, the most depressing holiday right next to Valentine’s Day). But fear not, New Year's Day will be a whole other blog expressing my twisted thoughts, with at least one or two other blogs in between.

But you know what? I didn’t even get to the point of this blog which is to say how emotional these holidays are when you have grown children. We raise our kids to be independent and choose lives that make them happy, but then after they visit and return to their independent, happy lives, we feel lonely and sad. This is the true definition of bittersweet.

As a child, I wanted everyone in my family to live together forever. As a teenager, it was very clear I was just an idiot as a child. But now as a parent, I want my kids to live with me forever.

If only time could stand still exactly where we want it to.