Hurricane Phyllis

H elp!

U nder warnings!!

R un for cover!!!

R ealizing how vulnerable you are.

I nnundated with a thousand thoughts and things to remember.

C alling my loved ones, including ex-husbands and boyfriends.

A lways second guessing whether to stay or go right up to the last minute.

N ever knowing whether you’ve made the right decision until it’s over.

E haustion.

You hear there’s a hurricane headed your way and you’re thinking, not again. Life can’t be this cruel. It hasn’t been that long since the last one. But you’ve learned from all the previous hurricanes and you kept a list of the hurricane supplies you’ve bought which includes batteries, non-perishable foods, lots of water, power chargers, etc., so perhaps the prep won’t be so bad this time. And with each hurricane, you add things to the list. The less you have to think, the better off you are because this is only the beginning.

You have a second list of things you need to do before the hurricane arrives other than the obvious shopping. You need to pack in case you make a last-minute decision to leave which you don’t finalize until the very last minute and with absolutely no confidence that you’re making the right decision. Now, packing may not sound so difficult, but it is. You need clothes for God knows how many days, but you pack shit-kicking clothing because this is no vacation. You’re gonna get down and dirty one way or another. You look at your jewelry and you ask yourself what you won’t miss. No good answer there since sentimental value comes into play even more than monetary value. Speaking of which, you have other valuables passed down from generations you just cannot leave behind. So, if you can find a way to take it, you pack it. But by now, you can’t even figure out how much underwear or socks to pack.

Then, there are your electronics – phone, iPad, laptop, chargers for all of them and then you realize you better take your backup USBs just in case you can’t hold onto your laptop whether you end up on your roof or floating down the damn street.

You have to pack your medicines and toiletries because if you end up somewhere safe, you’re going to need them just to look civilized. Being a woman is especially difficult in this regard since it takes a lot to get ready on just an average day in the morning and almost as much to get ready for bed.

You need to charge your emergency radio, all your devices and your power packs and get them ready to pack just in case you decide to leave. You need to make sure your laundry is done so that you have clean clothes because Lord knows how long it will take until you get electricity. You get tons of water ready just in case the water system gets compromised and you can’t even flush the damn toilet. This is especially important if you have people staying with you or you’re staying with others. And if you hardly know the people, this can be very awkward to say the least.

If you have a pet, that’s a whole other level of packing and stressing. You need their food, litter, leashes, and sedatives since more than likely your pet stresses through storms as much as you do. Then there’s the added stress of not being able to take your dog out during the hurricane and dealing with accidents in someone else’s home.

The stress of just waiting for this hurricane is no joke either. For almost two weeks, you’ve been watching the news and reading social media and the confusion as to where the hurricane is going, what time it will land, whether it will shift direction, the fluctuating predictions of wind force and flooding, is enough to drive you mad.

Whether you make the decision to stay or go, shutters now have to go up. If you’re lucky and have hurricane impact windows, you hope they’ve been properly tested. You pray your roof will stay on and you won’t get flooded. Will this be a rainmaker, a wind blaster, or both?

And you’re still waiting and stressing. You worry about your family who isn’t staying with you. Will they be safe in their low-lying area in their old house that has somehow managed to make it through previous storms but surely cannot take much more? You know they’ll be okay afterwards because they have a generator and a grill. They just have to make it through.

For some reason, you never focused on the possibility of tornadoes during a hurricane because you think how can life be so cruel as to throw both disasters into the mix simultaneously. But then you receive tornado warnings in your area and end up spending an hour in your bathroom, pets and all, until you get an announcement on your phone saying it’s safe. Speaking of these announcements, they’re so shrill, loud and startling, they can wake the dead and you receive them automatically on your phone, along with 7 texts and emails all telling you to run, hide, and take cover.

You do your best to stay in communication with your loved ones throughout the whole ordeal and panic if you don’t hear back within seconds.

The storm finally passes. This time, you only lost electricity and you’re grateful you still have safe water and YOUR TOILET FLUSHES, praise be!

Although you don’t have WiFi, you impatiently wait for the internet to pop up just using your data so you can see what’s going on around you and the devastation makes your heart break.

I didn’t even bring up the shopping both before and after the hurricane. The patience you need is incredible. Everyone’s nerves are shattered, you’re functioning on a thin thread of fear, tension, and worry, but you have to be nice. You have to be because we’re all in this together and at the end of the day, you do see there are some very kind and amazing people out there. Those willing to help prepare and share what they have with you; people who really care.

And then there’s the aftermath. Recovery of all types. Some people need to rebuild. Others are okay and ready to get their shutters off. You have to unpack, clean up, deal without power for however long, and the decision-making isn’t really over because depending on how badly you were affected, you need to decide whether you’re going to stay or leave until power comes back and things are a bit normal again. And that’s in the best-case scenario.

The mental exhaustion adds to the physical exhaustion and you’re just plain, friggin’ exhausted. Beat up, unable to make a decision even about what you’ll eat for lunch. And if you’re lucky, you get to finally relax and let your body and mind rejuvenate. Your energy is low, you find yourself taking naps during some of this relaxation time, or maybe that’s just me because I’m old and alone, lol.

And if this has been stressful to read and kind of all over the place, that’s just a small example of what it’s like going through all of this.

Oh, and then you hear there’s another tropical development and we’ll let you know more in the coming days.

Perhaps I should have stayed packed.