Webster’s Dictionary defines “jealous” as follows:
1: hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage: ENVIOUS
His success made his old friends jealous.
They were jealous of his success.
a: intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness
jealous of the slightest interference in household management—Havelock Ellis
b: disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness
a jealous husband
3: vigilant in guarding a possession
new colonies were jealous of their new independence—Scott Buchanan”
Interesting definitions and, unfortunately, I can relate to all three, but in past relationships, I’ve been jealous of another women if she poses a viable threat to me as I try to guard my possession, who obviously is my man. I know that sounds horrible since a person should never be considered a possession, however, is jealousy really as negative an emotion as people make it out to be? I think the answer lies in how it’s expressed.
Nobody likes feeling jealous, and in a world filled with extreme emphasis on physical beauty (which clearly lies in the eye of the beholder), how is it possible not to feel jealous at times, or at least threatened? On the other side, nobody likes to feel like a controlled possession, so telling someone they must end any contact with the person making you jealous, or that they’re not allowed to go golfing anymore because your “rival” is golfing as well, brings serious and undesirable elements to a relationship. However, if you communicate your feelings and your partner is sneaking around to be with that person or gets angry with you for sharing your thoughts, then you have a problem you need to resolve before all trust is eroded and your relationship crumbles. Nobody wants to be told what to do or who to do it with, but once there is a lack of respect and consideration for your partner’s feelings, you’ve entered dangerous territory because a solid relationship cannot be sustained without respect.
Call me crazy (you wouldn’t be the first), but I like if my man feels a little jealous at times. And I don’t mind if he views me as a possession during those times because he wants to ensure I belong to him, which makes me feel loved and valued. Do I want ultimatums or someone constantly picking fights with me as their imagination runs wild and causes negative behavior? Absolutely not, but a small degree of jealousy can be flattering and even a bit healthy at times. It can also spice up your love life a bit so no complaints there.
I’m ready to take the heat I know is heading my way for this blog. Go for it; I’m interested in learning your thoughts.