Just Don't!

So, I’ve been seeing a gastroenterologist. We’re not dating, I’m just seeing him as I’ve had some stomach issues I’ve grown tired of dealing with. Nothing serious, I certainly hope, but annoying and just my luck, in order to determine the cause of these concerns, you have to go through a series of testing. And there seems to be a pattern for these tests since they begin with the least invasive first. Now, least invasive is really subjective, especially when you’re sitting on the patient side. I have to agree with the doctor that the blood tests are not invasive, but from thereon out, yeah, they are.

The last test I had was an enterography ct scan with contrast and I’m such a baby. I was dreading the prep, which is a liquid diet the day before and the day of you have to show up an hour before the scan and drink 3, yes 3! bottles of a special solution. Because they are looking for inflammation and whatever the hell else, you’re not allowed to have red, purple or orange Jello. So, I made Island Pineapple (sounds good, right?) and I bought lemon lime. I had chicken and beef broth and I was set. I could do this. I’ve had colonoscopies before, so I knew the non-solid food drill.

After having Island Pineapple Jello for breakfast chased down by a cup of chicken broth, I was done. Already gagging and I had like 16 hours to go before I could go to bed. I was starving all day and I couldn’t even stand the smell of the pineapple Jello, let alone the taste. The lemon lime was bitter and the beef broth really sucked so it ended up being chicken upon chicken upon chicken.

I struggled sleeping at first because I was starving and worried about how I would drink those 3 bottles of neon radiation, but eventually I passed out. Probably because I was so weak from lack of food.

I reluctantly drove myself to the test in the morning and everyone was so nice, telling me, “You can do it. Don’t worry. Just drink 1 bottle every 15 minutes.”


Well, I pretty much did it. It actually didn’t taste bad, but I think I could hear all that liquid in my belly as I walked to the scan machine. The scan itself is about 8 minutes and after seeing my results on their portal, I’m impressed with how thorough it is. I still don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I do know what’s not wrong with me. That scan covered lungs, abdominal wall and soft tissue, liver, gallbladder, pancreas, spleen, adrenal glands, urinary tract/bladder, vessels, reproductive area, bowel, and bones. That is unbelievable. Had I known that prior to taking the test, I would have been a bigger obsessive wreck awaiting the results.

The main point of this blog is to share what a baby I am, how much I overthink and obsess, how I hate being told I can’t do or have something, and how I hate being told I have to do something. I hate it. Don’t tell me I can’t eat and don’t tell me I have to drink 3 bottles of something. Just don’t!