Moving On
My neighbor in the building across from me just moved away. I saw her empty terrace and I instantly felt bereft. I didn’t really know her. I met her once at the pool, and I don’t even remember her name. We used to wave to each other from our terraces and now she’s gone and she never told me she was moving.
But why would she?
And the very day I discovered her gone, a woman I Zumba with said she will soon be moving out-of-state. I instantly felt bereft. I never see her other than at Zumba, but she always shouts, “PHYLLIS” and I shout back “LOIS” and we laugh.
So, I’ve been wondering why do I feel so sad? Do I feel as if I’m missing something? That they’re moving on and leaving me behind? But I like my life. I don’t want to go with them.
When my neighbor and partner in crime of 14 years told me she was moving, I was devasted beyond being bereft. But that made sense. We were very close and had some serious history together.
When someone you enjoy working with gets another job and leaves, you experience a myriad of emotions – sadness, loss, emptiness, and maybe even envy. And that’s because there are some people you work with who become your family so those emotions are realistic. Feeling sad over people you hardly know is quite odd.
I hate saying goodbye and I want everyone to be one big happy family living close by and always available to see each other. So you can imagine how often I’ve been sad in my life because people do move on, even those closest to you.
There’s a picture of me on FB hugging my Texas son goodbye and I’m sobbing as my face is buried deep in the hug. When I was 22 and still living in NY, my parents moved to Florida so I sobbed a minimum of three times a year after visiting with them. But again, crying when you say goodbye to family makes sense.
Obviously, I’m a sensitive, sentimental baby and I hate separation. But my neighbor and gym acquaintance are not really important people in my life. Or are they?
In actuality they are. I realized that I took comfort always knowing I could wave to the same woman on the terrace and I took comfort knowing I could be greeted daily by a person filled with life and humor at the gym. It’s the safety to be found in the simple, everyday things that happen to us or that surround us in our environment, inclusive of trees and flowers and landmarks. These things keep us grounded in a world gone crazy, providing warmth and security, along with reassurance that there is goodness around us and we will be safe and happy.
I truly wish everyone the best when they do leave, and it’s clear I have to stop taking it personally, lol. In time I will adjust, the same as I always do.