Sadly Guilty

I had dinner recently with a close friend who is very spiritual and positive about life. She was speaking about an event that would have caused me great guilt, but referenced it for herself as sadness.

And just like that, it clicked.

I realized if I could view some of the things that have repeatedly made me feel guilty as making me feel sad instead, I might actually find some relief and not blame myself for everything that has occurred in my life or the lives of my loved ones (past and/or present).

Everyone has regrets, but it’s so difficult when you live a life where you feel responsible for the way other people’s lives have turned out. As if anyone was that powerful in reality to actually be responsible for someone else’s unhappiness. But guilt isn’t often rational.

Lots of people feel guilt is an unnecessary, negative emotion. I don’t. I think guilt helps keep us in check, allows us to see the right thing to do in a situation, and encourages us to be better human beings. And if you can learn from your guilt, then you really have turned the negative into a positive.

However, when you feel guilty about things of an irrational nature, or repeatedly beat yourself up over things that weren’t necessarily in your control or that you can no longer change, then it can become a serious problem.

I just love this sadness concept. As an example, instead of feeling guilty that I couldn’t make my mother happy, I feel sad that she felt that way and I can feel some of the weight being lifted off my shoulders.

This will take practice on my part, repetition and reminders, but it’s a goal I plan to achieve and recommend for those who consistently ride the guilt train.

Thanks, Pat. 😊